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Looks like we made it: We made it into the American Heritage Dictionary! Of course,
their definition was a first draft. Kind of a C-, to be honest. You can
read about that in the link to the piece on ImmigrationImpact. com. But we hope the final version will be a B+, in true modern American form.
Actually, the A+ goes to the Community College student- Wikipedia. They turned in their brilliant A+ definition of Anchor Baby
long ago, and filed it, appropriately, under "Ethnic Slurs." (If our
website offends you, don't click them. Their thorough list of slurs
would make a Chicago street cop blush.)
Anchor Baby Glossory: America can’t enforce English Only laws until it defines all the words in English. The American Heritage Dictionary has been having a hard time devising a perfect definition for Anchor Baby.
And that's just one term. So we decided to further slow things down by
adding more new words to the English language, each inspired by Anchor
Anchor Island: Typically, Anchor Babies arrive to the U.S. just like the Immigrant Pilgrims did. However, in 1917 the U.S. went to Puerto Rico and turned them into U.S. Citizens.
This created an Anchor Island because all subsequent Puerto Ricans were
born American Citizens. Here is the word in a sentence, "Dang,
President Woodrow Wilson turned Puerto Rico into an Anchor Island. Why
he no do that to Mexico?"
Anchor Blocking: A person or nation that hampers the execution of an Anchor Baby's 28 year - 30 year plan
of turning his parents into U.S. Citizens. Former President Ronald
Reagan is one such example. Here is the word in a sentence: "When I was
12, President Reagan Anchor Blocked me by passing the 1986 Alien Amnesty Program.
He made my parents Permanent Residents before I could inspire them to
buy me a car in order to do it." However, our next definition will show
you why we hold no hard feelings towards our favorite President of all
Son of an Anchor Baby: This
is pretty straightforward. These are the children of Anchor Babies, who
are then 2nd generation citizens and very powerful. Former President
Ronald Regan's maternal grandmother was from Ireland (she was even a maid),
so his mom was an Anchor Baby. Here's the term in a sentence:
"President Ronald Reagan passed Amnesty for Illegal Aliens in 1986
because he is a Son of an Anchor Baby. It brings tears of joy to our eyes to think of all of our kids becoming Presidents, since so many of us are becoming voters. "
Anchor Teen: When
an Anchor Baby does not act on all their Citizenship Anchoring Powers
after the first 28 year cycle when those powers kick in, they are called
Anchor Teens because they may then use those same powers later out of
rebellion or Angst. Here's the term in a sentence: 'Mitt Romney isn't
acting like an Anchor Baby, but we know what's up. Once he's President,
he'll act like an Anchor Teen and create more Anchor Islands."
Anchor Man: This term is applied to Anchor Babies who grow up and
look like national television news hosts. Here's the term in a
sentence: "Mitt Romney is a great example of an Anchor Baby who grew up
to look like an Anchor Man."
Mexican American: Here is where things get very, very
complicated. Just like Mitt Romney, I'm an Anchor Baby. And just like
Mitt, or as his family in Mexico likes to call him Meeeet, my dad was
born in Mexico. However, if Mitt Romney is not Mexican American, am I?
Is anyone? I'm scared.